March 2, 2010

Because of His Grace

I had a dream last night. I can't remember much about what happened in there but I remember finding a piece of paper with Because of His Grace written on it. And this message kept resounding in my head all morning today after I woke up.

February 11, 2010

September 9, 2009

09/09/09

So Apple decided to release its new iPod today, Sep 9th 2009. There's also this movie that is released today. This is a cool date, and I'll tell you why it's cool. This date represents the last set of single-digit dates that we'll see for almost a century.

Mark your calendars for January 1st, 2101.

February 3, 2009

Old Pickup Truck


He wears his jacket at the doorsteps with a sigh
as his wife Jade comes running to say goodbye
he gives her a hug
takes his mug
and he drives his old pickup truck

[Chorus]
He sings his mother’s soothing serenade

as he sees his life all behind him fade
he prayed for Jade
and his antiques trade
it’s been a decade
since he got paid
But he’s happy in his old pickup truck

He sees a gas station on the highway
he pulls over to fill up at the pump
he hears a chug
in the engine’s plug
so he gets out of his old pickup truck

He kicks the car then opens the front hood
he swears at the day he saw this neighborhood
the truck is stuck
now, that’s bad luck
he decides to sleep in the damn pickup truck

The next day, he wakes up feeling dizzy
it’s a new day and he wants to get busy
there was a rotten duck
that the engine sucked
and it made the whole car smell pretty yuck

A homeless fart asks him for some change
so he tells him to smile once for a change
he pays a buck
to the geezer schmuck
then he rides his old pickup truck

He goes to work and finishes all alone
Feeling dead tired and sore to the bone
He’s finally home
To Jade he says shalom
He sleeps and dreams of the old pickup truck

January 27, 2009

ياللي حابس نفسك في الصفيحه

This is a poem that I wrote today. It has some hidden meanings and subliminal messages.

ياللي حابس نفسك في الصفيحه
خدها يا ابني مني نصيحه
سيبك من الفقري واللي تلاقيه إيحه
اتجوز الصريحه و إبعد عن القبيحه
فهمت ولا لسه ميحه؟
لو مافهمتش ركز معايا يا إبن المليحه
هكلملك الدنيا اللي فاكرانا دبيحه


الكلام ليكي دلوقتي يا ست دنيا
يا قاسيه و عامله نفسك كولونيا
ليه عماله تلطشي في؟
ده أنا ماليش في الشر وباكره الأذية
إتفائلت وقلت وشك حلو علي
كده برضه تغدري بي؟


ولاد الحلال يتعدوا عالصوابع
هم اتنين تلاتة صعب تلاقيلهم رابع
أما ولاد الحرام حتى على بيوتنا فاتوا
صدقت ستي لما قالت: اللي اختشوا ماتوا


على قد ما فيكي خير.. الشر برضه أكتر
الحقد موجود والبغض مولود
والظلم بقى إيه؟ الله أكبر
وانتي قاعده في منتهى البرود
شايفه غابه مليانه قرود بتهاجم أسود
القسوه بتسود والطريق شكله مسدود
بس القلب يعود يعزف نغمه عالعود
تشيل الجمود و تسبح رب الجنود
اللي بيفك قيود واللي هيشيل منك الدود
ده هييجي بالموعود ويبارك الوجود


ياللي حابس نفسك في الصفيحه
اطلع من الصفيحه دي ريحتها كريهه
اديني هزقتلك الدنيا وما فيها
اقف وقول بأعلى صوت ليها
لأ يا نبيهه
لا الصفيحة لي ولا أنا ليها
دي الحكاية مش عايزة بديهه
بس انتي مالكيش فيها
يا أنا يا انتي يا دنيا
و فيها لاخفيها

September 14, 2008

Copyright means Copy is not Right

Did you know? The song Happy Birthday was written by two sisters from Kentucky named Mildred and Patricia Hill. The original song was called 'Good Morning to All', it was used to greet the children of the school where Mildred and Patty teached. The song appeared for the first time in a book in 1924.

Anyway, my point is that the song we all know is copyrighted. If you use the song in public in the United States, you're meant to pay Time-warner/AOL for each performance. I'm serious. They make $2 million a year from it. The two women have passed away a long time ago but I don't think they ever made a nickel from it.

Copyrights are a serious issue. Google is filled with copyvios and I know one day I'll see my posts on one of them. so I decided to write my Terms of Use of this blog. You'll find it at the very bottom of each page on this website. Please spend a minute or two to familiarize yourself with it.

September 10, 2008

I Have Learned

I've been working all day and was bored out of my mind. I was waiting for something interesting to happen until my cell phone started ringing...

(ME for MaximEyes, WC for Woman Caller)

ME: Hello!
WC: Hi, the cell phone you gave me is not working.
ME: I think you got the wrong number, ma'am.
WC: What do you mean I got the wrong number?
ME: Ummm, I mean this is not who you're trying to reach.
WC: I'm calling Rogers. You are Rogers.
ME: No, I'm not Rogers. I told you this is the wrong number.
WC: Hey listen. You have to fix my phone because...

I hung up on her, went back to work, and learned that there are people who are more stupid than my boss.

July 17, 2008

YA7YA AL 3ADL!!11one

A Saudi woman who was gang-raped by 14 men has been sentenced to 200 lashes and 6 months in prison, the BBC reports. Her original crime was being in the car with a man unrelated to her, but her punishment was doubled and prison time added when she appealed the original sentence. Judges said she tried to use the media to influence them; her lawyer says the sentence violates both Sharia law and international conventions.

Seven of the woman's rapists were sentenced to prison time; the judges also doubled their sentences. The woman's attorney has been suspended from the case and had his license revoked. He says the court let personal views influence it and vowed to file another appeal.

Source: BBC
My Comment: Not Available


June 30, 2008

YMCA's ON and OFF

Quiz

If you are in a hotel room, the bedside lamp is ON and you want to sleep. Which of the following actions would you take? (Choose all that apply)

a. Turn off the lamp. If you can't turn it off, unplug it.
b. Cover the lamp with a blanket.

A blanket caught fire in one of the rooms last weekend because some family at the YMCA found this question a little challenging.


Letter

Dear mosquitoes, gnats, ticks, biting flies, chiggers and fleas,

I used the OFF spray at the conference this long weekend and you weren't able to suck on my blood. Only one of you guys was able to make it to my right leg. But I executed him soon after he had his last meal.

So long, We shall meet again sometime this summer in Egypt. You've been repelled, you little SUCKERS!

Re-guards,
MaximEyes

April 30, 2008

Shake Your Booty

Do you remember This Post when I talked about technology and smart inventions? I'm going to introduce to you today an invention that combines between two important things in our life. The first thing is the elimination of fecal waste and the second is music. Is it more fun to do both at the same time? The intellect inventor of the Atech iCarta Stereo Dock thinks so.

It's a toilet paper holder that has a dock for the iPod so you can listen to your favorite songs while you take a dump. This "device" is being sold at one of the local computer stores in Toronto. I found the description to be a little funny.
You might run out of toilet paper, but you'll never run out of
tunes with the Atech iCarta Stereo Dock for your iPod.
How lame is that! I'm never gonna purchase this item because I read in the description that Toilet paper is not included. I mean, if I'm gonna pay $67.99 (plus tax and shipping) for the Atech iCarta Stereo Dock, I'd expect them to throw in a toilet paper roll so I can start using my new item right away. Now I think it's a rip off.